After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
