I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize