we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
