No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
