i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
