Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
