Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize