the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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