I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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