so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
