I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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