They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
