i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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