what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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