did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize