He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
one might say we're banned from that church
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
