we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
