You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
