Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
