I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
