What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
