My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
nutella sex= disaster
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
