right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize