you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
