There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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