I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
