i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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