There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
