can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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