Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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