Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
