Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I AM VODKA MAN
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
