Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
