dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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