Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
