it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
