I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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