Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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