You can't motorboat a personality
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
