His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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