I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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