I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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