I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
