I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
