you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
