I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
