You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
