I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
