Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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