I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish i was in the wii world.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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