have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
