Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
