She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
