She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
