I want to stick my p in your. b.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
