I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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