So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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