Swine flu. Run for my life!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
