You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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