I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
