God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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