i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
worst night to have a conscience
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
