It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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