And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
