I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
