exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
