maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
