just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
